Many bilingual mums and dads find it so hard to teach their own children second language is due to the fact kids refuse to use it. Today I will present 5 things to do when teaching kids a second language.


Just like a lot of other bilingual mums, I experience so much frustrations, especially after I spent all the time getting some plans together, finding resources, printing out workbooks and even spending money to get learning material for them.


Not to mention the time I spent actually teaching them to speak and read in Chinese. In this blog post, I am going to go “behind the scene” and unravel the truth about children’s relunctance in second language learning. Then I will provide good tips on how to find way to work it out for us.

1. Find out if your kids feel uneasy in learning a second language


Let’s face it, nobody likes to face an uneasy and uncomfortable situation. When we are asked to give speech in foreign language, swim in deep ocean we don’t usually do, go to a foreign country to talk to people who speak no word of English, the inital reaction is to say ‘NO’ right away, find an excuse, and run as far away as possible. This goes with kids too, when they got the uneasy feel, they will shut down immediately.


My older daughter B goes to a local Chinese school every Sunday, but my boy M refuses to go for a long long time until I finally convinced him. The fact he won’t go is that he can’t find any friend there, which makes him very uneasy in the surroundings. He also finds it’s very silly that he’s can’t speak Mandarin Chinese well compared to other kids in the class.


I managed to find out the truth by talking to him openly. Then I found out one of my friends’ daughter who is in the same situation like my boy, born in a bilingual family, she will also go to the school. Her mum also finds it’s very hard to teach Mandarin Chinese at home which is also mum’s mother tongue.


Now having a friend at the Chinese school, my son M is feeling much happier. The simple thing that make children do something they refuse to do is often very simple but you just have to ask for it.


  • Find the reasons: What makes your children uneasy? What things make them annoyed? What is the reason they feel that way? What do they wish was different? Have a sitdown conversation with your kids and listen to them. You will have a better chance to understand them better and find the solution for it.
  • A good explanation about ‘uneasy’ will do the trick: Use your own childhood case to explain to them, how you faced an uneasy situation, and explain how it has helped you as an adult.
  • Children admire their parents and often see them as their life models. Your own experience will give them a very good reason why they should put themselves in an uneasy situation and try to overcome it. You can also tell them how you get stressed and frustrated at times, you will be surprised to find out how much your kids are willing to do to ‘help’ you! After all, they want to be mum and dad’s hero!

2. Keep a Record of Kids’ Progress on Second Language Learning


Making progress when teaching kids a second language is hard. We should all prepare ourselves in facing this difficulty with patience, a good plan and a reward system. Do not let the frustration get in the way of your kids’ second language learning.

Kids can easily forget what they learnt. Language learning takes time, effort and persistence. Keeping a record of what’s learnt is an important task.



  • Realistic goal setting and plan: Set a goal that is realistic to you and your kids. So it can be realistically achieved, yet inspire kids’ interest at the same time. Try not to compare your kids to others who are more advanced in the target language you are teaching. Kids are all different, they all learn at a different pace.
  • Draw a plan that is suitable to your own kids’ and do not rush them to a race unless it will inspire your kids’ progress in language learning. After all, they don’t need many trophies in their cupboard, but a life-long skill which can take them a long way in life.
  • Reward well: Set up a good reward system for your kids’ learning. A weekend trip away, or their favorite toy store. This will not only encourage their learning along the way. It also teaches them the philosophy of ‘NO PAIN NO GAIN’. The hard work will be paid off if they follow the path well.

3. Find a Speaking Environment


This is always the most hurdle faced by bilingual/multilingual mums and teachers. In an English speaking country like where I am now in the UK. All resources and neighborhood displays are in English. Your kids DO NOT have a speaking environment. This increases the chance your kids refuse to speak a second language.


  • Local language learning school or community: Both of my kids go to a Chinese Language school religiously. I stay in the class with my boy M a number of times until he feels he can stay learning on his own. This is by no mean the ONLY solution. But pairing your kids with other like-minded families and kids will definitely help.
  • You might also try local library to see if any local group is running in your area. Joining with others who speak the target language is the most nature way to teach kids a second language.
  • You could also try to find a penpal but only when your kids’ writing skill is well developed.
  • A private tutor can help: This works the most advanced way but depends on your budget. A tutor can work her magic more than bilingual parents themselves. Why? Simply your kids pay more attention to them knowing that the single purpose of a tutor is there to teach them a language skill!


4. Find Reasons to Use the Targe Language


Growing up in a non-English speaking country, I have a passion in learning and using the language. I love English singers and English literature. My passion has become the drive for me to learn and practise my target language EVERYDAY.

What if your kids have no reason to speak the second language? Finding out a reason for your kids is another task for you to do when teaching kids a second language.


  • Give a chance for them to use the language to a real person: I let my kids to speak to my mum in China via WeChat (an Chinese app like Whatsapp), and make them understand if they do not speak to my mum in Mandarin Chinese, they can not help her in any way they want to.
  • A little false emergency for example, I will tell my kids to say how to wish grandma recover from a little sore shoulder or back. This works wonders, as my kids believe by saying those Chinese words, they help their grandma to get better. My mum on the other hand, is so thrilled to hear her grandchildren speak her language. See, double win win!
  • Culture love: I regularly take my kids back to China on holiday. So they can spend time with their grandparents, also get to go to trips to various attractions in China. The vast cuture and historical attractions in the surrounding teach my kids automatically.
  • Kids learn better by seeing, experiencing and feeling. By showing my kids the ancient temples, imperial gardens, I present them a really good reason to learn the language so they can explore more on their own later on in life.



5. Find a Fun Fact for Kids


Your kids will not want to learn the language if they find there’s no fun in it at all. Forcing it through will only make bad impression on their mind. Then the connection between your kids and the language will become even looser.



  • Go to local cultural events
  • Find some traditional games
  • Go and watch target language films and read books in both languages
  • Allow kids to mark the pronounciation in English (they find it really funny with some sounds). For example, in Mandarin Chinese, word ‘socks’ is very much like English word ‘vase’!!!!


I hope you enjoy this post about 5 things to do when teacing kids a second language. If you have any other tips and experience. I’d love to hear from you. Please comment below and let me hear your thoughts!

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